Maagnum Time

February 28, 2012

In grade 5 or 6 i met another kid. We weren’t very close, but we were in the same friend sphere, so we were essentially always in contact. In high school we found ourselves in the same group again. We became closer friends, but still not much.

When i was 16 i met a girl whom he knew through the internet. Something miraculous happened and the girl liked me, and i liked her. We stayed together for a number of years, and grew up together.

I was a poor boyfriend for a number of reasons, alcohol abuse, mental health issues, all of which were my fault. She eventually left me. In hindsight i loved her, but couldn’t show it properly due to my selfishness and self destructive behaviours.

When i was in my darkest, utterly alone, unemployed, alcoholic, i turned to my friend from primary school, he had recently broken up with his girlfriend too. I thought perhaps his sorrow might need some company. He didn’t talk to me.

A few weeks later i found out that he and her had gotten together. He hadn’t been speaking to me in fear of me finding out. He had actually been waiting for years to have a shot at the girl he used to speak to on the internet.

They are still together, and happy from what i can see. It has been a year. I am still alone.

This is a warning tale, to keep what you love, you need to be your best.

Filed under love fear betrayal story true alone sad depressing